


I Will Remember You

by insertcoolname13



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bath Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Pining, Pregnancy, Reunions, Reylo Baby, Sad Rey (Star Wars), Smut, Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23168845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertcoolname13/pseuds/insertcoolname13
Summary: "Rey,” Ben said, his low voice barely a whisper. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.”“I do,” Rey replied unconvincingly. “It’s the mature thing to do.” Contrary to her words, she leaned closer to him, imagining the feel of his lips on hers.“Yes,” Ben agreed again, just as unconvincing as she had been. “It’s the mature thing.” He leaned in as well, leaving just a fraction of space between them. Slowly, he put his arm around her, drawing her in to fill the gap. Rey couldn’t stand it anymore. She needed him. He was here. They’d been waiting long enough.Rey and Ben get one perfect day. Loosely based on the Angel/Buffy crossover episode.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 107





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A very angsty first chapter but don't worry, the fluff is coming! Let me know what you think.

It began as a normal day, the same as any other. Rey rose at the same time as the Tatooine suns and settled down in the kitchen to drink her morning caf, just as she did everyday. While she sipped, she checked her holo messages. There was only one today, a casual recording from Finn. He asked all the usual questions: How was she doing? When was she coming back? What was keeping her? Then he told her all about business on Coruscant, where he and Poe were overseeing the institution of the New Republic. Rey’s eyes glazed over as Finn described political meetings, conferences, budget concerns. However, she smiled as the conversation turned to more personal matters. Finn told her that he and Poe were together now, they’d finally admitted that their feelings went beyond a close friendship. They were in love, they wanted to spend their lives together. Rey was happy for her friends. Really, she was. She recorded a quick message for Finn that told him as much. But she couldn’t deny that it hurt. She’d felt that way, once. But now he was gone. Ben was gone and he was never coming back. Once again, Rey was alone.

The dessert was quiet, it always was. That was why Rey liked it so much. She craved the silence, she couldn’t stand noise right now. She couldn’t bear the happiness felt by the rest of the galaxy, celebration made her sick. Sure, the war was won. Of course, that was a good thing. A wonderful thing. But Rey was empty inside. She wasn’t sure that she’d ever feel anything again, let alone happiness. Even being around BB-8 was too much, Rey had sent the little droid back to his master a week ago. If she couldn’t have Ben, it was better to be alone. At least now she could mourn in piece. 

Rey left the house. She walked across the dessert, listening to the crunch of the sand underneath her boots. She went out like this every morning, to check the moisture tanks on the farm. She’d spent the first few weeks here getting the machines up and running. It wasn’t much but it was a project, something to occupy her mind and her hands. She collected what water she managed to produce and took it to town, selling it to the locals at shockingly low prices. The people in town liked her, welcomed her. They called her “Jedi Girl.” Rey was always in a hurry to get back to the homestead. She hated drawing attention.

Upon her return, she went into the house and prepared herself some lunch. Simple bread, dehydrated meat. Plain food, not much different from what she’d eaten on Jakku. At least now she had enough to fill her belly. After lunch she went outside again, to work on the speeder she was fixing up. Another project, another thing to keep her busy. Too busy to think about him, too busy to hurt. She’d fix the speeder, the same way she’d fixed the moisture tanks, the same way she’d fixed up the tiny home she now lived in. She wouldn’t think of Ben. She wouldn’t think of his soft, dark eyes. She wouldn’t think of his large, gentle hands. She wouldn’t think of his lips or the way he’d held her for that brief, precious moment on Exegol. But the memories always came back, the pain hitting her like a ton of bricks. She knew now that she’d loved him. He had been her home. Without him, she was incomplete. Rey was missing part of her soul now. Without Ben, how could she go on? Where could she go from here?

Rey walked to the small covered area where she kept the broken down speeder. She gathered her tools and prepared to get to work. Before she started however, she dared to try again. “Be with me, she whispered. “Be with me.” She waited. Nothing, as usual. Ben never answered her. She hadn’t seen him, hadn’t heard his voice since she’d left Exegol. “You said you’d always be with me,” she said aloud. To her dismay, she felt tears beginning to form. “Where are you?” she asked, her voice choked. Again, no answer. The tears began to fall now, Rey didn’t bother to wipe them away. “Dammit, Ben!” she cried. She kicked one of her tools, sending it flying across the sand. 

Rey sighed. What had she expected? It was always the same, just like every other day. Ben wouldn’t answer her. Despite what he’d promised, he was gone. He’d been taken away from her, ripped away by the Force and by fate. Why was she blubbering and crying like this? It wouldn’t bring him back. Nothing would. Sniffling, she went to retrieve her lost tool. It was then that she sensed it. Sensed...no. It couldn’t be. She took a deep breath and turned around. There he was. Ben, her Ben. Her damaged, brooding, beautiful boy. The love of her life. He was standing there, just a few paces away. Not a ghost, not a figment of her imagination. He was real, flesh and blood. Alive again. “Ben?” she called out, hardly believing her eyes. “Is it really you?”

Ben smiled, slowly. Dimples appeared on his cheeks, the way they had on Exegol. “It’s me,” he promised. “Rey, sweetheart.” He walked toward her slowly but Rey couldn’t wait, not for one more second. She raced toward her lost love, launching herself into his arms. He was solid, as muscled as he’d ever been. She was at home in his embrace, her soul made complete once more. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. “My love,” Ben murmured, holding her as though he feared she’d slip away. “Rey, I’ve missed you so much.”

“You came back,” Rey whispered. She ran her fingers through his silken hair, savoring the feeling. “You came back for me.” She pulled him toward her, claiming his mouth with her own. She didn’t understand how or why Ben was here. He was supposed to be dead. This wasn’t right. Just now though, she didn’t care.


	2. The Mature Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was starting to get longer than I had planned, so I split this one into two parts. Smut and even more fluff next chapter.

Rey fumbled around her kitchen, glancing every few seconds at the tall, impossibly gorgeous man sitting at her table. She was making tea, though Ben hadn’t asked for any. But they’d just been sitting there, starring at one another. The tension was too much. What could she say? He’d saved her life. She’d loved him. He’d left her. She’d spent the last few months in constant agony, longing for him to come back to her. Now that he’d actually come back, she was stammering and blushing like a school girl. 

Ben sat quietly, gazing up at her with his warm brown eyes. Rey could feel his affection through the bond but also his feelings of awkwardness, his embarrassment. He was at just of as much of a loss as she was. With shaking hands, Rey poured out two cups of hot water and added in the tea leaves she’d recently brought from town. “Any sweetener?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

“No,” Ben replied quickly. “I mean, no thank you.” 

Rey handed him the cup, brushing her fingers against his in the process. Just that small contact was enough to make her gasp. Could he tell how much she wanted him? She jerked her hand away quickly, trying to keep her composure. Settling into a chair across the table from Ben, she struggled to speak. “I’m sorry I kissed you,” she blurted. “Well,” she stuttered “I’m not sorry about the kiss exactly. It was an amazing kiss.”

“It was,” Ben agreed, taking a sip of his tea. “But you think we shouldn't have?” He was reading her mind, Rey realized but she didn’t mind. It was easier than having to speak the words aloud. “You think we moved too quickly?” Ben asked, looking to Rey for confirmation. She nodded.

“I was just...so unbelievably happy to see you.” Rey looked down at the table, trying to hide her blush. “And I want to be with you so badly. But we don’t even know what this is. We don’t know if this is permanent. We don’t know how or why you’re here.”

“I know,” Ben sighed. “You're right.”

“We’ll figure this out,” Rey told him, hoping she sounded stronger than she felt. “Until then, let’s take this slow.”

Ben nodded. “Slow, of course. Probably for the best. It’s not fair for me to just come crashing back into your life like this anyway.” He took another gulp of tea. “It’s not like you were just waiting around for me. You have a life, you’ve moved on.”

Rey wanted to tell him that she hadn’t moved on at all, that he’d been in her thoughts and in her heart every day, every minute. That without him, there would always be a part of her missing. That all she wanted to do right now was to be in his arms. To feel his hands on her body. To be made whole again. But she was trying to be rational, trying to keep the feelings at bay. To give in to them was to risk being hurt even more than she already had. Rey wasn’t sure she could survive that. But how could she resist him? How could she resist the pull she felt to him now that he was back? He felt like home.

“Rey?” Ben asked softy. “Are you alright?”

“Are you hungry?” Rey asked, jumping up from her chair. “You must be starving.” Not waiting for an answer, she opened up a cupboard and took out a bit of bread she had saved. 

“Rey, really I’m alright,” Ben assured her. He got up and came to stand beside her. He put a gentle hand over hers, pushing the bread away gently. His hands were warm, strong. Not letting go of his hand, Rey turned to face him, starring into his eyes. She felt her breath catch. The heat between them was undeniable, overwhelming. She’d said she wanted to take things slow but she wasn’t sure it was possible. She reached up to brush of lock of hair from Ben’s face, her hand lingering on his cheek.

“Rey,” Ben said, his low voice barely a whisper. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.” 

“I do,” Rey replied unconvincingly. “It’s the mature thing to do.” Contrary to her words, she leaned closer to him, imagining the feel of his lips on hers. 

“Yes,” Ben agreed again, just as unconvincing as she had been. “It’s the mature thing.” He leaned in as well, leaving just a fraction of space between them. Slowly, he put his arm around her, drawing her in to fill the gap. Rey couldn’t stand it anymore. She needed him. He was here. They’d been waiting long enough.

“Ben,” she murmured.

“Yes?” he answered, his voice choked. 

“I changed my mind,” she told him. 

That was all it took. They were on each other at once, moving with as much ferocity and passion as they had in battle. Ben swept her into his arms, propping her up against the counter top. He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her forehead, her lips. Rey kissed him back with just as much fervor, hoping enthusiasm made up for lack of experience. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed forward to grind against him, all trace of embarrassment gone. Ben groaned, tightening his grip. As Rey sucked a bruise onto his neck, Ben picked her up and moved her across the room to the dining table. Rey gleefully pushed the teacups aside, sending them flying across the room. Ben laughed and lay her down on on the table, leaning forward to kiss her again. Rey moaned, losing herself in the kiss. This moment was everything. Feeling unbelievably bold, Rey tugged at the hem of Ben’s sweater, struggling to pull it over his head. Ben hurried to assist her, removing the garment in one swift motion. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Rey told him with a smile, taking him in. She struggled out of her own top before pulling him back into a kiss. 

“Wait,” Ben said. He tugged on the edge of her breast band. “Is this alright?”

Rey nodded eagerly. “Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, Ben I want you to see me.”

Ben unwound the band, revealing her inch by inch. Rey had never been so exposed to anyone before. Maybe she should have been embarrassed but she couldn't feel anything but giddy. Ben was looking at her as if she were a goddess, love and lust reflected in his dark eyes. Kriff, how she loved him.

“I want you,” she told him. “Make me yours.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asked, his voice trembling.

“Yes.” She was sure, more sure than she’d ever been about anything. “I love you, Ben Solo,” she said. “I’ve always loved you, even when I was too stubborn to admit it.” Ben smiled again. 

"I love you,” he told her. Ben scooped her into his arms, gently now. 

“Is there a bed?” he asked. “If we are going to do this, we should do it right.”

“At the back of the house,” Rey replied. “Take me to bed, sweetheart.”


	3. A Normal Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey get busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this dialogue was lifted from the Angel episode "I Will Remember You."

He placed her softly on the small bed and then stepped back, taking her in. She was topless, breathing heavily, practically delirious with need. Her legs parted for him. She could feel his emotions as clearly as her own. He wanted to savor this moment, make love slowly and tenderly. But Rey was in no mood to wait. She wanted, no needed, to have him inside her. She was going to have her way. “Ben,” she whined. “Touch me, please.” He grinned that big, perfect grin of his and fell on top of her, covering her face and neck with kisses. Cautiously, he brought his hands to her breasts, playing with her until her nipples hardened beneath his touch. He leaned down and took one in his mouth, sucking on it experimentally. Though she knew he could feel her arousal through the bond, Rey rewarded him with an enthusiastic moan.  
“Does that feel good?” he asked, needing the reassurance of her words. “I’ve never done this before,” he said, sounding more than a little embarrassed. “Any of it.”

Rey smiled up at him. “Me neither,” she confessed. “We’ll learn together.” She sat up, leaning in to kiss him again. “And yes,” she whispered. “It felt amazing. But I want more. I want all of you.”

Ben kissed her back, hungrily. “You have me,” he promised. “Body and soul.” Rey beamed against his kiss. She could feel his hardness pressed up against her leg. Desperate to feel it, she pulled at the waistband of his trousers, tugging them down until his cock sprang free. Nervous but determined, Rey reached forward and took him in hand. “Oh Fuck,” Ben gasped in both surprise and pleasure. “Rey.” Her name barely escaped his lips in a whisper. 

Rey continued to move her hand, watching her lover come undone under her touch. She’d never felt so powerful. “Do you want to be inside me?” she asked. Ben, apparently incapable of forming words, nodded eagerly. Rey, feeling quite desirable and very unlike herself, pressed him for more. “Say it,” she told him. “Tell me you want to make love to me.” She took her hand away from his cock. Ben moaned at the loss.

“I want to be inside you,” he panted, eager to please. “I want to make love to you.”

“Good,” Rey breathed, struggling out of her own pants. She’d waited so long for this moment. It felt almost like a dream. Ben lowered himself on top of her, planting another gentle kiss on her lips. She felt his cock brush against her entrance and heard herself groan. Then he finally pushed inside and Rey felt whole at last.

There was some pain but nothing unbearable. Just a sense of stretching, of fullness. If anything, it was good. Proof that Ben was really here, solid and real. “How does it feel?” Ben asked.

“It’s good,” Rey told him, sincerely. She bucked her hips against him, testing things out. That felt even better. “Move,” she commanded him. Ben was all too happy to oblige, beginning to thrust gently at first, then harder. Rey wrapped her legs around his waist, meeting his thrusts with movement of her own. She cried out, feeling something beginning to build in the base of her stomach. “Ben,” she moaned. “Fuck.” She reached down to where their bodies joined, playing with her clit as Ben rocked into her.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” Ben grunted. “I’m going to cum.”

“Me too,” Rey told him. “Let go, Ben. Cum for me.”

He did as he was told, filling her up before collapsing beside her on the bed. They lay beside each other for a moment, panting. Just being there, together in the moment. Then Ben gathered her into his arms, holding her close. Rey listened to her lover’s heartbeat, feeling the post-coital bliss wash over her. Peace at last. 

They lay in bed together for hours, talking, kissing, making love. They made plans for the future. Where they would go (Rey wants to see the galaxy), the things they’ll do together (Ben plans to teach her to swim), even what they’ll name their children (Rey likes old family names, Ben would rather start fresh). “We should move,” Rey insisted as they lay together, fit together like spoons. “I mean,” she giggled as Ben nuzzled her neck. “We can take a week or so here first. Get packed up.” She turned around to kiss Ben, happy to feel him growing hard again against her back. “Maybe do some...other things,” she whispered seductively. “But then I want to go somewhere else, find a new home.” 

“And where do you want to live, sweetheart?” Ben asked, nibbling her ear.

Rey giggled again. She’d never giggled so much before in her life. “Somewhere green,” she told him. “Someplace alive.”

“Anything you want, my life,” Ben told her. “You’re my home. Anywhere you go, I’ll follow.” Rey turned around and began kissing him hungrily. They made love again.

At some point Ben got up to cook for her, making a luxurious feast out of her plain rations. They ate in bed. “I don’t understand it,” Rey said between bites of toasted bread. 

“What?” Ben asked.

“Somehow, food tastes better when you’re around.” She smiled. “You’re magical.”

“I just know how to cook,” Ben teased with a grin. Then he looked embarrassed. “But it’s probably easier to learn when you aren’t on the verge of starvation,” he amended. 

But Rey wasn’t hurt. “You can teach me,” she told him. Tomorrow we can go into town and get some real food to cook. If you can make my rations taste like this, I can only imagine what you could do with something fresh.”

Ben smiled, clearly relieved that he wasn’t in trouble. “Of course I’ll teach you, if you want.”

Rey grew quiet for a moment, deep in thought. Ben noticed. “What is it?” he asked. “What are you thinking about?” 

Rey didn’t know how to explain. She tried to share her emotions, her perfect happiness with him, through the bond. “I’m just so glad we didn’t logic ourselves out of this.” She set down her plate and moved closer to Ben. “I’m done trying to do the mature thing.”

Ben set down his food too, putting both their plates on the floor beside the bed. He pulled Rey back into his arms. “I agree,” he said with a smile. “That time I spent in the kitchen, that was enough distance.” He leaned in for another kiss but stopped when Rey began to yawn. “Sleepy?” he asked.

Rey sighed. “Yeah but I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay awake so this day can keep happening.”

Ben kissed her forehead. “We’ll have another one like it tomorrow, I promise.” He lay down, pulling Rey down next to him. He pulled the blanket over to cover them. Rey snuggled in close to him, content. 

“Ben,” she whispered before she drifted off. “This is the first time I’ve ever felt this way.”

“What way?” Ben asked, holding her tighter.

Rey didn’t know if she could explain it. She’d spent so much time alone, even around her friends. Her powers set her apart from others, making her different. It was something no one else could understand. She was respected, feared, held up as something pure, a beacon of hope, of light. Sometimes, she didn’t even feel like a person at all. It was a lonely way to live. She’d never thought she could have this, a normal night with the love of her life. “I feel the way I’ve always wanted to feel. Like a normal girl. Falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend. It’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always pictured Rey as a bit of a top. She radiates dom energy.


	4. It's Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey spend the morning together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I increased the chapter count again. I really wanted to have some nice fluff/smut before the angst train comes back to town.

Rey didn’t think she had ever slept so well in her life, a deep, heavy sleep untroubled by nightmares. By the time she woke, the desert suns were already high in the sky, turning her little bedroom into a sauna. Still half asleep, Rey kicked the blanket off the bed, trying to escape the oppressive heat. Groggily, she reached across to the other side of the bed, expecting to encounter Ben. Instead, she found nothing. The bed was empty. Suddenly wide awake, Rey sat up and looked around the empty room. She rubbed her eyes. Had it all been a dream? Was she losing her mind? Was it some sort of dark side trick? Was someone using the memory of her lost love to torment her? She stood up, wincing at the rawness and pain between her legs. Looking down, she saw that her chest was dotted with bruises. Love bites, left by Ben’s eager mouth. So it hadn’t been a dream after all.

Rey padded down the hall to the kitchen, to be greeted by the smell of frying veg meat and brewing caf. Ben stood there at the stove, his back turned to her. Relief washing over her, Rey sprinted over and wrapped him in a hug. Startled by her sudden appearance, Ben nearly dropped his frying pan. “Kriff,” he said, hugging her back. “You weren’t supposed to wake up.” He sighed. “I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed.”

Rey kissed his cheek, his neck, his lips. Then she smiled. “You were going to have to let me out of bed at some point.”

Ben laughed, a glorious sound. “I had no plans to do so. Not for a week, at least.”

Rey sat down at the table. Ben hurried to pour her a cup of the caf he’d been brewing. “I thought you were gone,” Rey told him. “When I woke up.”

Ben froze for a moment, terror on his face. Then it was gone, replaced by an easy smile. He leaned in, planting a kiss on her nose. “I’m here,” he told her. “At your service.” He set a plate of food in front of her

He was holding back, Rey realized. Shutting her out. Ben was hiding something, that much was obvious. Rey didn’t know what it was but if she was honest with herself, she didn’t really want to find out. She wanted to keep living in this happy, private world. Just Ben, Rey, and their love. There wasn’t room for anything else. So instead of asking questions, she smiled and ate her food. It was delicious. 

After breakfast, Rey decided she wanted a bath. And she decided Ben would have one too. They filled up the tub with soapy water and then struggled to fit into the small space together. After a great deal of shifting and splashing they finally managed to settle in, with Rey between Ben’s legs. She leaned back against his chest, breathing him in. Trying to commit the moment to memory. Craning her neck, she reached up to leave a trail of kisses down his neck. “Hey,” Ben said. “Aren’t we supposed to be washing?”

Rey turned around, shifting so she was straddling him. “I’m suddenly not that interested in it,” she whispered, seductively. She smiled, noticing Ben’s growing erection. “You don’t really seem to mind though.” She brushed a lock of wet hair from his face, tucking it gently behind his ear. Then she leaned in and gave him a not so gentle kiss. “Or would you rather spend this time getting clean?” she purred.

Ben’s expression darkened. “Oh no,” he said quietly. “I think I’d like to stay dirty.” 

“Good,” Rey murmured. “That’s the answer I was hoping for.” She reached down to take hold of Ben’s cock, stroking it until she had him moaning her name the way he had so many times the night before. But now she wanted to try something new. She scooted backward, lowing herself down and taking his cock into her mouth. Ben gasped, his surprise and delight echoing across the bond. Unsure of what to do but trusting her instincts, Rey rolled her lips down his shaft. Then she did it again and again, sucking until Ben groaned and filled her mouth with his cum. She swallowed the load, then sat up to smile at him.

Ben looked at her in awe, completely spent. “Wow,” he gasped. “That was amazing, sweetheart.”

“Was it?” Rey asked. She felt a little bashful now that it was done. “I had no idea what I was doing.”

Ben pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. “It was perfect, Rey. Just like you said last night. This is all perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	5. Farewell (For Now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovers are forced to part again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of the line! Thank you all for taking this journey with me, this fic was a real passion project. I nearly cried writing this chapter, so be warned. Things get angsty.

“Why don’t we go to town?” Rey asked after their bath. She glanced over at Ben, who was busy drying himself with her threadbare towel. He’d been unusually quiet since their tryst in the tub. She tried again. “This place is so isolated, I don’t even think anyone out here knows about the war. They definitely won’t recognize you.” She snatched the towel from Ben with a grin and set about drying her own hair. She waited for Ben to reply, to smile, to tease her. He didn’t. Rey could no longer ignore that something was wrong. Whatever Ben was hiding, she needed to know. “Ben?” she asked quietly. “There’s something you aren’t telling me.” She walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Don’t shut me out. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know how to say this,” Ben murmered, his voice choked. Rey swallowed hard.

“Just tell me,” she insisted, trying her best to sound calm. “We’re in this together.”

“I don’t think I can stay,” Ben told her abruptly. Rey saw there were tears in his eyes. “I think I’m leaving soon.”

Rey was confused. “Going? What do you mean?” A new thought dawned on her, one that terrified her to her very core. He was leaving her, the way everyone else had. “Was it me?” she whispered. “Was it something I did?”

“No, no!” Ben cried. He reached for Rey, trying to embrace her. She swatted his hand away, for once not wanting to be in his arms. “Rey I swear, it has nothing to do with you.” He was really crying now, tears falling from his eyes. “It’s not what I want. I’d do anything to stay.”

“Then why?” Rey snapped. She was angry, hurt. She was struggling not to cry herself. “Why are you leaving me alone, again?” She buried her face in her hands and took a deep, shaky breath. “You said I wasn’t alone.”

“Rey,” Ben begged. “Believe me. If there was any way I could stay, I would.” He sighed. “But this...this was never permanent. I don’t know how I came back or why but it wasn’t meant to last. I can feel myself fading. I’m going back, to rejoin the Force.” He tried again to put his arm around Rey. This time, she didn’t refuse. “Rey, please,” he whispered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. Her tears had begun to flow in earnest now, her back shook with sobs. Ben was leaving, again. She’d be alone. Worse now because she’d gotten a taste of the life they should have had. She’d gotten to live the happy ending.

“I wanted to tell you,” Ben said. “But...I couldn’t. I was hoping I was wrong somehow and you...you were so happy, Rey.” He pulled her closer, holding her against his chest. “And I was so happy. Sleeping next to you, waking up with you, making love to you.” He reached for the discarded towel and used the edge to wipe Rey’s tears away. “I wanted to have one perfect day with you.”

Rey sniffled, trying and failing to compose herself. “I understand,” she told him. And she did. She understood why he hadn’t told her. Rey was glad he hadn’t. She wouldn’t have traded the last day for anything. But she couldn’t understand why the Force had given her Ben at all, if he was just going to be taken away again. It was unbearable. “Fuck the Force,” she sobbed. “What a sick thing to do to us. To give us this and then rip it all away!”

“Shhhh,” Ben tried to soothe her. “I’m glad it did. We’ll always have this day, these moments together.” 

“What are we, the Force’s playthings?” Rey asked, more sorrow than anger in her voice. 

“I think it was my fault,” Ben told her. “Don’t blame anyone but me. I wished for this.”

“What?” Rey asked. “What do you mean?”

“Before I died.” Ben’s voice was soft. “After we kissed, as I fell. I wished for just one day with you, just one day to be together. I think the Force was just granting my last request.”

“How am I going to go on without you?” Rey asked. “Day after day without you. I can’t do it Ben, I can’t.”

“Please, Rey,” Ben pleaded. “You have to go on living, for both of us. Get out there, see the galaxy, be with your friends, build a home on some beautiful green planet.” He smiled through his tears. “Learn to swim. And someday, we’ll be together again. I can promise you that.”  
“How do you know?” Rey asked him. “How can you be so sure?”

“A dyad is a power like life itself,” Ben told her. “We can’t be separated, not for long.” He leaned in to give her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’ll always be with you,” he promised. “Now close your eyes and kiss me.”

Rey began to cry even harder. She knew now that he was leaving her for good. The love of her life, her other half. They’d had one day together. One day, when they should have had a lifetime. “No,” she cried. “No! It’s not enough time! We need more time!” 

“Rey,” Ben begged. “Rey, please. Kiss me.”

Rey never could deny him. She closed her eyes and leaned in, covering his mouth with hers. It happened quickly, even more quickly than on Exegol. One moment she felt his soft lips pressed against hers, the next he was gone. Rey allowed herself just this once to give into her grief. Tomorrow she would leave this place, she’d visit her friends. She’d travel. She’d find a new home, someplace green and living. She’d learn to swim. She’d do all the things that Ben wanted her to do. But tonight, she allowed herself to fall to the ground and weep. 

Nine Months Later

Rey awoke to the smell of rain. She lay there in bed for a moment, listening to the drops hitting her roof. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the damp weather on Takodana. It was pure bliss. Her sense of peace was interrupted by a loud snore coming from the other side of the small cottage. Rey began to giggle, quietly. Poe was even louder when asleep than he was when he was awake, which really said something. He and Finn were sleeping soundly on their cot, wrapped in each other’s arms. It was still early, they probably wouldn’t be up for at least another hour.

Rey got up slowly, careful not to wake Rose, who slept beside her on the bed. She took her wrap from its hook on the wall, stepped over a snoring Jannah, and walked out into the cool morning rain. Rey closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the peace and quiet. She was happy to have her friends here but she wasn’t used to having so many people crowded into her little house. The whole lot of them had arrived a week ago to help her get ready for the baby and it had been nothing but chaos since. Rey couldn’t deny that she loved having them there, though. It was nice to know that she wasn’t in this alone. 

She opened her eyes and began to walk down the hill, toward Maz’s castle. Well, maybe walking wasn’t the right word. Waddle was probably more accurate. Her daughter was due to arrive any day now and Rey felt as big as a planet. “Are you going to come out and see us today?” Rey asked her baby. “We’re all waiting on you.”

It only took a few minutes to get to the clearing. The sun was just beginning to rise above the treeline. Rey made this trek often, coming to visit the little memorial stone she’d placed here for Ben. She always felt his presence surrounding her but it was strongest here. This was, after all, where they’d first met. “I miss you,” Rey whispered. “I wish you were here, for real. But I know you’re with me.” She placed her hand on her belly. “I know you’re with us,” she corrected herself. “I know you love her as much as I do.” A breeze rustled Rey’s hair and she knew he’d heard her. Ben would never be far away. She would see him again.

Suddenly, Rey felt a gush of water run down her legs. “Oh kriff!” she exclaimed. 

As if on cue a voice cried out “Rey!” It was Rose. “Rey are you out here?”

Rey panted as she felt a cramping pain grip her abdomen. “I’m in the clearing,” she called back. “Get Maz. It’s time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to check out my other fics, I have two other multi- chapter monstrosities in the works.


End file.
